The world's first snooker and sumo fest

In Japan, I was disappointed not to be able to attend a sumo competition. Not the right season. But I’ve returned to the world snooker championship. And now I can’t get me pie and gravy down without considering whether suffering Steve Davis should go for the pink or the brown or worrying exactly where the white ball is going. Let’s be honest. Snooker and sumo are the world’s two most perfect sports. The rest are so much cheating childishness. Of these, football is by far the worst. In snooker and sumo, the rules are known and never bent or broken. There seems no desire to cheat on the part of players who are mental athletes as much as physical. In fact, fat chaps do rather well in both. Forget team sports. It’s the one-on-one that qualifies as true sport in my book. Who will be first to organise the inaugural international snooker and sumo fest? I’d be the first through the (wider than usual) door. Don’t laugh. If someone called Captain Sensible can reach the age of 55 today, then I can put such a thought out into the world. To rise above the smugflation, it just takes a bit of imagining …

Mark Griffiths www.idealconsulting.co.uk